Want To Win $500 At The Jersey Shore Pageant? I Can Help!0 comments

I don’t think reality tv has had this much influence over real life since Paris and Nicole hit the screen. The latest victim of Jersey Shore Syndrome (JSS for short) is Sidebar.

On Thursday, January 28th at 7pm, Sidebar will be hosting a Jersey Shore Pageant. They want you to come in all your Jersey Shore glory: “poof, fist pump, fake tan, 6 pack, blow out, etc.”  If you participate in the pageant you drink for free all night and are eligible to win the $500 cash prize.

Need some tips and inspirational photos? Oh I’ve got some for ya.

* I found this picture on the internet but I went to high school with these girls. They totally didn’t look like this back then. Ha!

For my guidettes:

1. You must wear the bra top.
2. Glitter and neons are essential.
3. Do not forget to make the kissy face.
4. Nighttime attire is always appropriate.
5. If you have a velour Italia sweatsuit. PUT IT ON!
6. White pants and obnoxious belly rings are the way to go.
7. The hair bump is a MUST.
8. Make your boobies bigger.
9. Rock the fake gold  and make sure the logo on the Baby Phat bra is showing.
10. Tube tops are HOT.

And for my Guidos:

1. The most important part of GTL is the T.
2. Do not forget to give the finger in every photo
3. Practice your blue steel better yet: Magnum
4. Use Elmer’s glue when necessary. Sometimes gel is not enough
5. When you’re not tanning, you’re lifting. Gotta get HUGE!
6. The kissy face is not just for girls. Neither is eyebrow shaping. Remember that.
7. Rock the sweatband. Preferably in a color that matches your girls sweatsuit.
8. If you’ve been messing up on the G in GTL, suck it in.
9. Wear obnoxious t-shirts and drink protein. Gotta get HUGE!
10. When deciding between the sweatband on the head or the wrist, wear both. Time thinking about this would be better used GTLing.

Don’t feel like prancing around on stage in your poof? If you dress like your favorite cast member or have a New Jersey ID, you can help yourself to the open bar from 7-8pm. (Dammit where is my ID from when I lived in NJ? Does my college ID count?)

May the fist-pump be with you.

[Check out these photos and more at GuidoFistPump.com and GetOffOurIsland.com]

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